Here are some classic Army and Navy jokes that are good G rated humor. Everyone knows the Marine Corps is the toughest, most badass branch after all, theres a reason they say, Always a Marine. Answer (1 of 2): The Chief of Staff of the Army, the Commandant of the Marine Corps, and the Chief of Naval Operations are having lunch. -The platoon sergeant looks up and says, When you see all the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?. The Roman Army never actually fell. My friend recently got promoted from captain to a higher rank. 60. My 1st week in Lackland AFB , Texas. A magazine. A: They both swallow seamen. 14. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. Jake Epstein. - Isikar. One is a member of the Gestapo, one is an Imperial Japanese officer and one is a Fascist Italian Commander. 23. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. During training exercises, the Lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. Three plays later, Army punts. For years the Army and Navy have been the brunt of jokes. 63. Was looking for the best candidate to fill a spot on a field team. There was once a medieval horse that joined the Army. No matter who you are rooting for, just remember that after the game were all on the same team. -The captain was sitting on the deck. #GoArmy, When youll wear anything before youll wear Army swag, like a pink bunny onesie from your grandma. 2. See TOP 10 military jokes from collection of 189 jokes rated by visitors. 94. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Thats why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. There were some Kurds in her way. A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them. March forth! 4. 67. Collective Military Hardships The rest are already there!. 3. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. (Army Jokes & Covid Jokes) What did the Navy say to the coast guards? "I'll SEAL you . 46. As they go to bed for the night, the first sergeant said: Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?, The commander said: I see millions of stars., Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. 68. ", "Why not," the coach asked, "car trouble? But the people in the Navy can certainly fathom it. Tower: "Need any assistance, Airman?" 91. 66. Why was the soldier very careful in front of his commanding officer on Thanksgiving day? The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the chiefs penis and began to work back. A. Looks like they just won Halloween too. After the 2-hour ride, the first thing I had to do upon arrival was to relieve myself. A: Six more weeks of bad football. What do you get when you drive slowly by the Military Academy campus? The Marines will kill everyone inside and then set up headquarters. What would you call a gun that is loaded with ammo? The drill instructor had him go into the barracks and sing the whole song. Three plays later, Army punts. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. "if you found a scorpion in your tent. I let him go but was sort of annoyed. But the old chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. In reality he means his military company. 26. It was Legion Dairy. Military Jokes March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. He then began passing information to O9A members using an . 31 Likes, 2 Comments - @armedforcesappreciation on Instagram: "#militaryjokes #military #jokes #hilarious #toofunny #navy #marines #army #airforce #laugh" Several decided to go down to Panama City Beach for fun and relaxation. In this list, we have provided several funny army jokes, funny navy jokes, and some of the funniest army jokes for kids. Next I had to cross an open field with the wire, so of course that meant low-crawling 1/10 mile so that I wasn't exposed to "enemy snipers", With the heat, humidity, that damned "snowmobile suit" MOPP outfit, and difficulty breathing through my mask, I fell asleep halfway across the field! -A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two kernels. #BeatNavy, When you started the whole Armed Forces thing and support all of the other branches, you get some bragging rights. An army of dragons destroyed and consumed everything in their path. 81. My laughing and "I told you so!" Hey, buddy. Brooms can be great army officers since they can easily perform good sweeps. Sailing is a path to the dockside.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_25',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_26',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_27',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Ranger Danger. When I turned in my paper he said I don't know what this number is go to remedial training. The winner would have no jokes told about them. Nonetheless, it is important to emphasize that this is a joke. But I saw them and bolted. I have enough hands on deck. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. 33. Thank You U.S. A new recruit started singing the marine hymn Our Drill Instructor was coming out of our barracks and heard him. It's said these were 'Hun Identified Flying Objects'. That's why we've collected so much top-tier military jokes in one place. Cam-o. creative tips and more. So, quick as a flash, I whipped off my hat and dropped it over the periscope. 88. An Army fan sets off a firecracker, and Navy, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field. The Recon Marine walks out of the cabin covered in blood. A: When a military man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. A army major was upset with his sons report card. Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? -Air (Force) Rejected Me Yesterday. 15. Boot Camp. The truth hurts, but its gotta be said. On March 3, 2023, at a White House ceremony, retired Army Colonel Paris Davis received the Medal of Honor. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. So in my first time in a field exercise, I said to my trusty Spec4 31K Wireman "You mind the radios, and I'll run the wire over to the first outpost so I can understand your job, the better to supervise you." 7. GI Joes never go out of style, sort of like an MRE something that sailors never have to worry about eating. Well, I guess the Navy has the badass Marine Corps too until they drop them off to handle their end of the fight. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! A seasoned veteran. Marine said" I would pick it up by the tail/stinger & eat it. U.S.M.C.= United States Mommy's Crybabies, Military Unit names and location where the person served, Dates the person was in the military, Birthdate, or Service number, Location where the person was born, entered the military, and left the military. 62. Your privacy is important to us. The Semper Soup Sandwich Award goes to: Last year the U.S. Space Force unveiled its official song, "Semper Supra.". Everyone obey me! he yelled. Why does the North Korean navy have glass bottom boats? Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the army? The Navy beat Army 14 years in a row, lost one game in 2016 and then just kept on winning. Have you heard that the American soldiers recently arrested an Australian pigeon on suspicion of being a spy? The other is protecting its citizens from the danger of allergies. At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. 3 votes. The Royal Air Force sent an officer and accountant and booked all of the rooms for a month with an option to purchase. As a 33, I had plenty of experience with radios, not so much with running field wire for telephones. The following jokes you will see typically in the halls of the United States Military Academy and Naval Academy. He said I never found him. 5. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Hilariously Funny Army Jokes If you are aiming to up your military humor and air force humor, then these navy jokes, jokes about Marines, camouflage jokes, boot camp jokes, short military jokes will be a huge boost. They'd be the specialists. A meat wagon. Navy is playing Army, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. The ranger hands the gun back and says I love her too much I cant do that. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. Army Ranger: An Army Airborne Ranger stands waist deep in the rain with a pack on his back, weapon in hand, after having jumped from an airplane and marched 30 miles, and says with a smile, "This sucks just fine!" Army Special Forces: A Special Forces soldier lies in the mud, pack on his back, weapon in hand, after swimming to shore, crawling through a swamp and marching at night past the . France Jokes and Funny Quotes About France, Harry Potter Jokes That Are Magically Hilarious, These Funny Math Jokes Truly Have No Equal, 30 Nerd Jokes for People Who Embrace Their Inner Smarty-Pants, 7 Times Golfers Ripped the USGA Over the US Open Golf Course, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control. Well, snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. What would you call a plan which stinks in the Army? They do it with a tic attack. My wife will think Ive been in a whorehouse! The chief turned to his barber and said, Go ahead and put it on. He then replaced the cover and started jumping again saying 4, 4, 4. At about the time that she probably got her pants down, I heard the unmistakable sound of helicopters come from her direction. The uniform. "Not good coach," said the players. Marine: We didnt mess up chief, this is just a part of the base beautification project. The general discloses to a nearby major, "I'm worried that we don't have enough troops for the mission." The major replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but that seems like a personnel problem." #3. A LOOtenant! They both have majors. Here we share some our favorite military jokes below: Real Estate . You must change your course, sir., Now the captain is mad. NATO Commander in the desert. 17. The military's main job is the provision of protection to the country's citizens from internal and external attacks. A new recruit started singing the marine hymn Our Drill Instructor was coming out of our barracks and heard him. ", 98. When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Check your inbox for your latest news from us. He told them you must find your own way to this beach head for 0600 tomorrow morning, there you will be tested like never before. She is fond of classic British literature. i.e. Never mind. 48. 79. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, Just the four of you?, The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, No, were the last four. $6.00 won 1 votes. Did you hear about the karate master who joined the military? Then a pause and a whole bunch of screaming and shrieking. What do the army lions make sure to carry? A degree. President As we navigate rapidly evolving military culture and Like any deployed troops, Russian soldiers make calls Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. 86. 77. 29. At the end 24th obstacle was called the worm pit. Two PFCs were walking down the street when one of them suddenly said, "Oh! Q: Whats the difference between a West Pointer and a catfish? In this list, we have provided several funny army jokes, funny navy jokes, and some of the funniest army jokes for kids. Thats why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship. 50. All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring. The "I lost my guns in a boating accident" meme was inspired by a true story. Likewise, VetFriends.com requires persons to register in our registry in order to be found and emailed. That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. As sports entered the equation, naturally the trash talking intensified. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. The Army is the branch that fights on land, the Navy and Marines are the ones that fight on water, and the Air Force fights in the air. Q: Do you know why the Army football team should change its name to the Opossums? 69. Navy Jokes 17. We're flying faster than the speed of sound! Q: How many West Point plebes does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None, it's a second-year course. The Navy will turn out the lights and lock all the doors. ", "No," they replied, "every few miles down the interstate we saw signs that said, 'Exit, Clean Restrooms'. -Slam the toilet lid down on his head. 93. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! Q: Why doesnt Army have ice on the sidelines during games? Old Macdonald's son joined the Army rather than doing farming work. What would you call it when a soldier takes a dump? 40. So while she had sought privacy from me, she ended up being a spectacle for the 10 guys in the helicopter team! Since the dawn of time and inception of the Armed Forces, trash talking has been an accepted right of passage for military members. Ill SEAL you later. The soldiers had to get rid of some bugs. 7. They decided to have a football game. President As we navigate rapidly evolving military culture and Like any deployed troops, Russian soldiers make calls Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, 73. If you would like to read more great jokes, check out Knight puns and jokes and Batman jokes. An 'elite' Russian unit is being weakened by severe front-line losses, and the replacements appear to be making things worse, Western intel says. Ocean Blues When the Navy recruiter tells you it's the perfect way to see the world, but all you see is the ocean or the deck you are constantly swabbing. You can't use it as a credible legal defense. Q. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. #2.If the commanding officer is not right, see #1. Q: How many West Point plebes does it take to change a lightbulb? As he did the SGT removed the manhole cover and the LT fell down into it. The Army coach gave his Army football team a few days off. VetFriends has over 2,951,306 members in our network! 21. 53. When you have the lowest ASVAB score requirement of all the branches of service, you might be a soldier. Get up you sacks of lazy bones he bellowed. Hence, the Army will post guards in specific vulnerable areas. Did you know navy bases are known as temples of the sea. This does not influence our choices. Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a West Point Cadet? The seal goes in the cabin for about 20 minutes. A: So that when they come into port, they can Scandinavian. The towns people just shrugged again. And when it got to 10,000 feet, we shot it down with the anti-aircraft guns. As the internet gave birth to memes, this opened so many doors to hilarity. It'd be in the reserves. All it needed was Apache. We also aim to surprise, but never shock you. Did the person serve a few years or retire from the military. Q: Did you hear that Army just bought twenty new septic tanks?A: Yeah, and Army coach says as soon as they learn to drive them, they're gonna invade Annapolis. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. Miss Muffet once led an army battalion to Syria, which failed. Please cover me when I move!". Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines? How do you knock out a marine while hes drinking water? "We never made it to the beach. The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters. Nothing Sir just seeing how high I can jump while on this manhole. The US navy decided to attack Turkey one day, probably because it was the day of Thanksgiving. A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road. He described it as a real hectic evening. The Army will post guards around the place. Krista," a Finnish Army reservist, owning the elements in a way that would make America's Next Top Model . 19. Now he's a sub woofer. 12. When there are a few M&Ms shells scattered on the floor. There are still head-turning military jokes despite how serious their job sounds. Army soldiers can't comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement. My grandfather once told me that when he was a soldier he fell in love with three women between 1940 and 1950. The Army football coach gave his team a few days off. 76. Have some great Army jokes to share? Chairs scraped behind him, and four of the biggest, meanest guys in the bar stood up. -Make it four. And the rivalry just keeps getting better and funnier. Air Force Fact: -The only time you can have too much fuel is when youre on fire. I used to be an artist before I joined. An Air Force F-35 comes careening down the runway. Once I get out of the Navy, Im never going to stand in line again!, 1. These jokes poke fun at the largest military branch to date, we can all slap our knees at its expense. #17 - 10. Join my email list for LIVE comedy show updates in your area:http://www.seanreillycomedy.com/new-show-updates.html The Best Short Military Jokes 1. 5. I once heard a story about a Roman army that became famous after selling milk products to people. He doesnt think much of it until lunch when he goes for a walk and sees the two still at and a whole line of freshly dug and filled in holes. asked a group of troops. When my friend was in the Army, Chieftain used to be a rank and not a tank. What position do the baby plants serve in the Navy? A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy. The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. It is not that they don't speak the same language as the country they belong to, but their unique lingo helps create a sense of unity. The stupid branch is the army probably is the Knavies. If pilots screw up, they die. So they did it with a raid. 3. This low-blow at boots on the ground: What do you call kids in the military? 6. Where are you getting all those anchors from?, From the same place youre getting your storms, sir.. Navy is playing Army, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. 35. I replied, "Thank you, sir!". A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California. 72. However, it has lately been used to mock gun restrictions and confiscation threats. It's the Neigh-vy. He said, "Battle, Buddy! So that if needed, he'd have it handy to blow up his tires. The guy sitting next to me, he continues, is 6 2, weighs 250 pounds, and he's . 92. General Anesthesia helped put all the internal disputes to bed. Why didn't the soldier raise his hand when the sergeant asked for the laziest man for a comfortable job? Because he said, it was too much trouble to raise his hand. Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their boats? He was clearly a dessert-er. He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him. All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. Theres no exception for Army jokes. 10. The Air Force will take out a five-year lease with an option to buy at the end. It was the luft-waffle. No service favoritism: we poke fun at the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Special Forces, Airborne, and anyone who has ever been in a uniform. He was laughing and left to go find SGT MAJ. The Annapolis grad walked into the bar, sat down and said, "Hey barkeep, you hear the joke about the four West Point players in a farmhouse?" Two army rules: #1.The commanding officer is always right. A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship. If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with baggy green skin. 78. The Navy Commander said Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering. A degree. Well I have. The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, Ahoy, small craft. Jokes about the different military branches are as old as the military. 13. Yes Sir, I do. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. All the subjects e.g shooting, strategy and tactics get terrible grades except Math which has an A. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in . 24. He signals, Im a US Navy captain. Table Of Contents [ show] 1. Once, a Roman commander accidentally decimated ten from his platoon. Where do the kings put their armies? 23. A Drill Sergeantlemen. It was the first day of land nav so it was really just orienting us. 83. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Im not changing my course., The light signals back a final message: Im a lighthouse. - Send them to me. Shit: Through the Eyes of the Military An Army grunt stands in the rain with a 35-pound pack on his back, 15-lb. sailors have a long tradition of telling tall tales, and navy jokes are just one more way to pass the time and make people laugh. I proceeded to set up the antenna for the radio by myself. I asked my private if he was really mad. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning." "Thank you very much, sir." 4. The admiral shouted, Hey, dont put that stuff on me! In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak. The airman responds, In the Air Force, they teach us not to pee on our hands., A Marine orders a pizza and the waitress asks if hed like it sliced into four pieces or six. It'd be a ri-full. When you got to your first point you were to attach the cem light to the stake and light it for our night land nav course later on. An army of baby cows has to be the calf-alry. 7. In their sleevies. There are many divisions in the Army. Why do rednecks join the army? On the field, at life. Acronyms at their best: ARMY a recruiter misled you 2. It turns out he kept his CDs In Iraq. What would you call it if a soldier leaves to go to play some game? Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes and puns for everyone to enjoy! the Army thought it was the end . An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time. It's the full bird Colonel. Every time a buddy comes in he high fives this Marine and yells, "Two weeks!" They keep doing this until the bartender asks, "What's all this two weeks stuff?" A Marine tells him their friend finished a puzzle in two weeks. The Ranger patrols up, the spook hands him a 9mm and says see that cabin over there, you wife is in there take the gun and shoot her. A platoon sergeant and his platoon leader are bunked down in the field for the night. He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west., The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east., The captain gets a little annoyed. You have no idea how many restrooms we cleaned between West Point and Panama City. Psychology Competition, Dietary Intake, Exercise, Goal-setting, Military Jokes, Punishment, Reward Leave a comment. 24. My instructor told me that he never saw me at the camouflage practice. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he Trash-talking is all fun and games but every single man on the field would sacrifice it all for his country. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Q: How many Army Cadets does it take to change a tire?A: Just one, but he gets four hours credit and it counts as a lab science! Continue with Recommended Cookies, if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-box-3','ezslot_4',170,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-3-0');You might have thought the ship had sailed when it comes to funny navy jokes and puns but not so! "All due respect, we do, Sir," said the corporal. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. A vet. One soldier mused, Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesnt seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?. Because he wanted to watch a floor show. What would you call a soldier who makes you stay beside them at all times? What do you get when you drive slowly by the Military Academy campus? How do the soldiers move when they want to get an orange slice? 34. 20. With a crowbar! - Yes Sir, I do. These are some air force puns, air forces jokes, and puns about the army that will help you up your air force humor. As the periscope was covered, the submarine didnt realise it had reached the surface, so it kept rising. He said, "No, thanks. There was once a medieval horse that joined the Army. What was the soldier doing in the restroom? Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters. He signals, Im an aircraft carrier. 38. Everyone called it a knight-mare. 70. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the navy? Check out our army joke man selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Q: What so you call a snail on a ship? Q: What's the difference between a Soldier and a civilian? The sergeant told him that he needed to blow up the tank. 54. Thank you very much, Sir, replies the soldier. A: A jeep ran over a box of popcorn & killed 2 kernals. This officer can be likened to a small puppy - he runs around excitedly, leaving little messes for other people to clean up. What does it tell you, Top?, Sgt: Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent.. How many soldiers does it require to change one lightbulb? Which soldier has to be very careful around Thanksgiving? The stupid branch is the army probably is the Knavies. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. He shouted, "Ah shoot.". No one even got close to scoring. People in the Army have a unique lingo and speak the same language as each other. 3. Yes, privates possibly were. What kind of sergeant usually carries a long stick along with them wherever they are going? Having this information about who you are looking for would be helpful: Please Enter a Valid email address with no spaces, VetFriends Members: Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. 6. 64. This is standard West Point and Annapolis heckling, but the goes well beyond the service academies and reach into the regular Army and Navy, among pilots, special forces, and other units as well. So for 3 hrs I'm not finding anything finally I come across a tree with a large white stripe painted on it and it had a dog tag with a number nailed to it. Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. I served under the calmest commander of the US Navy. A: When a military man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harrasment. 11. 7. Wait a minute, is everyone married? He took the right half, and the army man was the left tenant. He was scared of de-feet. 59. In a wedge. -A flat major. That means its time to let loose and relax all while getting in a solid chuckle. What do you get when you drive slowly by the Military Academy campus?A.